Cupid here. I'm the cute chubby guy that everyone associates with Valentine's Day and thinks all I have to do is shoot an arrow into someone's butt and they fall head over heels in love with "the one" forever.
Well that's not really how it works.
I only wish it was that easy - my guys and I here in Cosmic Relations wouldn't get so many complaints if it were.
But unfortunately for me, you humans are a lot more complex than that.
And despite the myths and rumors those ancient Romans were spreading about me I don't get to spend my days flitting through the clouds playing matchmaker.
There's actually a LOT of paperwork up here, I spend most days at a desk, and it really cramps my wings....
But anyway my Uncle Mercury (the messenger god) is telling me to quit whining and get on with giving you the "inside scoop"...
So, in the spirit of love and romance (and cutting down on the customer service complaints here in the Relationships Department) I want to give you some insights that most people never get
... a relationship reading we created especially for you and your partner.
It's at CosmicCompatibilityProfile.com. You'll just need to enter your name, your partner's name, and your birth dates so we make sure to get you the right Compatibility Chart.
The system is based on the Ancient Mayan Calendar and their understanding of how two people's individual energies combine to form a unique and different energy when they are in a relationship. Those ancient dudes were pretty smart and what they figured out is really cool.
Three things will happen.
1. You'll get a lot more insight into the beautiful energy that the two of you have created together.
2. You'll talk about it with each other and understand one another better.
3. Because people will have more insight into their relationships and are talking about their relationships I will see a lot fewer complaints in my Department (which is a good thing because The Cosmos is getting a bit ticked off with my satisfaction ratings over here).
And just to set the record straight, no I can't just shoot an arrow into someone's butt, slip them a little Love Potion #9, and make hearts and rainbows appear – even though that would make my life a LOT easier.
Get your reading, talk with your partner about it, and let the love grow.
God of Love, Desire, Attraction, & Affection
Department of Cosmic Relations
Heart of the Galaxy
(________________ from ___________________ are sending this message since Cupid is in a meeting with The Cosmos and neither one of them sounds very happy right now ;-)...)